You will learn from this driver...worth watching.
Good illustration ! :-)
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對於惡劣的人或傷害我們的人，我們應該要改變自己慣有的反應。通常我們會討厭這樣的人，覺得他們受到任何的痛苦都是應該的。我們必須將這種態度取代為一種覺知，認識到這個人應該是我們修持的對境。對於我們喜歡的人，或是非常照顧我們的人，我們要生起慈悲很容易，但是我們需要將自己的慈悲擴大，超越這種局限且容易修持的目標。
Change our habitual response to people with harsh personalities or people who have harmed us. We dislike them and feel they richly deserve any suffering that comes their way. This is an attitude we must replace with the awareness that this person should be the particular focus of your practice. It is easy to have compassion for someone we like or who has done us many good turns, but we need to train to extend our compassion well beyond that limited and easy target.
當我們的敵人或討厭的人遭遇困難時，我們可以觀察自己的反應。事實上，這是一個評估自己慈悲程度的便利方法。在這個時候向內進行審視，評估我們慈悲的程度，這非常重要。修持的過程中，重要的是要對自己的進展誠實。我們可能會發現，經過一切努力後，我們對傷害我們的人並沒有真誠的慈悲，這時我們可以對自己說：「我試過了，但我的努力沒成功。」
It is in fact a handy way to evaluate our level of compassion by observing our reaction when someone who has harmed us or who has a difficult personality encounters problems. In fact, it is important to look within to assess our level of compassion in those moments. As we engage in this process of training, it is important to be honest about our progress. We may find that for all our efforts, we just are not feeling genuine compassion towards someone who has harmed us, and we can say to ourselves, “I tried but my efforts did not work.”
但如果我們不夠努力，我們也不需要譴責自己。而且，我們也用不著對自己或他人假裝慈悲，然後這麼說：「哦，真可悲呀！嗡瑪尼貝美吽。」我們只需要把自己的反應視為是一種指標，它為我們指出自己的修持需要改善的地方。
There is no need to chastise ourselves if we fall short in our efforts, nor should we pretend to ourselves or others that what we are feeling is compassion, saying “Oh, how sad. Om mani padme hum.” We just take it as an indication of where we need to work further in our practice.
就渴求快樂而免於痛苦的願望上，壞性格的人和好性格的人，是完全一樣的。無論人格特質的好壞，每個人都有獲得證悟的相同潛力。如果我們能夠培養自己的慈悲和智慧並且達到一定的程度，讓它具有將壞性格的人轉化為好性格的人的力量的話，這就真的是殊勝且善妙的佛法修持。
People with difficult personalities are exactly the same as good-natured people in terms of their yearning for happiness and wish to be free of suffering. Those with good or bad characters have the same potential to become awakened. If we could develop our compassion and wisdom to the point where it had the power to help those with difficult personalities to transform into people with good natures, that would truly be an exceptional and splendid practice of the Dharma.
當別人傷害我們的時候，我們往往忘記了他們也遭受著痛苦。尤其，如果對方長期持續地以嚴重的行為來傷害我們時，我們更會覺得自己難以做到這點，但這也不至令人驚訝。但如果我們是大乘的修行人，我們一定要付出真誠的努力，記住對方是正在受苦的眾生，然後儘量尊重他們，善待他們。
While a person is harming us, we often forget that they also experience suffering and pain. In the case of someone who has engaged in serious and sustained activities aimed at harming us over a long period of time, it is not surprising if we find this difficult. But if we are practitioners in the Mahayana path, we must make a since effort to remember that they are suffering sentient beings and try to respect them and treat them well.
別人傷害我們時，如果我們對他們生起瞋恨或其他煩惱的話，身為佛弟子的我們便犯了一個錯誤。而且，如果我們還忘記他們也是受苦的眾生，覺得他們不值得我們的慈悲的話，我們便是錯上加錯。因為，我們總有對他們感到慈悲的理由，雖然在某些情況下，我們可能覺得他們值得讓我們生氣或憤怒。但這都取決於我們的選擇，由我們決定以那個理由做為自己行動的基礎。
When someone harms us, it is a mistake for us as Dharma practitioners to give rise to aversion or other negative emotions towards them. If, on top of that, we forget that they too are suffering sentient beings but instead feel they are not worthy of our compassion, we are adding a second mistake to the first. We always have a reason to feel compassion for that person, and on some occasions we may feel they have given us also a reason to feel anger or hatred. It is up to us to choose which reason to make the basis of our action.
～ 法王噶瑪巴開示「快樂的藝術」Karmapa Teaches On the Art of Happiness, 22 November, 2014 – New Delhi
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噶瑪巴尊者
任何曾經見過我、聽過我的名號、
想到我善或不善的特質，
甚或曾經被從我這個方向吹過的風
碰觸到的一切眾生。
願他們自無始以來所累積的惡業和障蔽悉皆終止。
願他們前往大慈大悲無上千手觀音的極樂淨土。
願我能夠透過身、語、意來利益眾生，甚至能夠透過我的影子來利益眾生。
願所有心懷惡意、想要傷害我的身體，和我的生命的一切眾生，包括人和非人的一切眾生，成為首批獲致證悟的眾生。
願即使是最微小的傷害，也不要因為我的緣故而降臨。
時間：2014年12月29日
地點：印度/菩提迦耶大祈願會場
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Extract from Mingyur Rinpoche's book: Joy of Living....
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行到水窮處，坐看雲起時
問：唐朝詩人王維有兩句詩「行到水窮處，坐看雲起時」，千古傳誦。人們常用來自勉或勉勵他人，遇到逆境絕境時，把得失放下，也許會有新的局面產生。如果從禪的立場來看這句話，會是怎麼說呢？
■ 聖嚴法師
答：王維的詩與畫極富禪機禪意，文學史上尊他為「詩佛」。他的兩句話「行到水窮處，坐看雲起時」，「水窮處」指的是什麼？登山時溯流而上，走到最後溪流不見了。有一個可能是該處為山泉的發源地，掩於地表之下。另一個可能是下雨之後匯集而成的澗水在此地乾涸了。這個登山者走著走著，走到水不見了，索性坐下來，看見山嶺上雲朵湧起。原來水上了天了，變成了雲，雲又可以變成雨，到時山澗又會有水了，何必絕望？
◎處絕境時不要失望
人生境界也是如此。在生命過程中，不論經營愛情、事業、學問等，勇往直前，後來竟發現那是一條沒法走的絕路，山窮水盡的悲哀失落難免出現。
此時不妨往旁邊或回頭看，也許有別的路通往別處；即使根本沒路可走，往天空看吧！雖然身體在絕境中，但是心靈還可以暢遊太空，自在、愉快地欣賞大自然，體會寬廣深遠的人生境界，不覺得自己窮途末路。
「行到水窮處，坐看雲起時」有兩種境界在其中。第一種，處絕境時不要失望，因為那正是希望的開始；山裡的水是因雨而有的，有雲起來就表示水快來了。另一種境界是，即使現在不下雨也沒關係，總有一天會下雨。
◎回到初發心
從水窮到雲起到下雨的過程，正如一個人在修行過程中遇到很大的困難，有身體的障礙，有心理的障礙，還有環境的障礙。如果因此而退心，要把念頭回到初發心的觀點上。初發心就是初發菩提心的時候。
初發心時什麼也沒有，對修行的方法、觀念都不了解。你先回溯當時的情形再看看目前，不是已經走了相當長的路了嗎？所以不要失望、不要放棄。
人生的每個階段也都可能發生這種狀況，如果用這種詩境來看待，處處會有活路的。（摘錄自《紓壓禪》，選自《聖嚴說禪》）
(Source:
https://www.facebook.com/humanitymagazine/photos/a.175364445868977.44257.174906772581411/755198121218937/?type=3&theater)
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Pema Chödrön tells the story of when, having hit rock bottom, she asked her teacher what to do.
I thought I would tell you this little story about Naropa University’s founder, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and my very first one-on-one interview with him. This interview occurred during the time when my life was completely falling apart, and I went there because I wanted to talk about the fact that I was feeling like such a failure and so raw.
But when I sat down in front of him, he said, “How is your meditation?”
I said, “Fine.”
And then we just started talking, superficial chatter, until he stood up and said, “It was very nice to meet you,” and started walking me to the door. In other words, the interview was over.
And so at that point, realizing the interview was over, I just blurted out my whole story:
My life is over.
I have hit the bottom.
I don’t know what to do.
Please help me.
And here is the advice Trungpa Rinpoche gave me. He said, “Well, it’s a lot like walking into the ocean, and a big wave comes and knocks you over. And you find yourself lying on the bottom with sand in your nose and in your mouth. And you are lying there, and you have a choice. You can either lie there, or you can stand up and start to keep walking out to sea.”
So, basically, you stand up, because the “lying there” choice equals dying.
Metaphorically lying there is what a lot of us choose to do at that point. But you can choose to stand up and start walking, and after a while another big wave comes and knocks you down.
You find yourself at the bottom of the ocean with sand in your nose and sand in your mouth, and again you have the choice to lie there or to stand up and start walking forward.
“So the waves keep coming,” he said. “And you keep cultivating your courage and bravery and sense of humor to relate to this situation of the waves, and you keep getting up and going forward.”
This was his advice to me.
Trungpa then said, “After a while, it will begin to seem to you that the waves are getting smaller and smaller. And they won’t knock you over anymore.”
That is good life advice.
It isn’t that the waves stop coming; it’s that because you train in holding the rawness of vulnerability in your heart, the waves just appear to be getting smaller and smaller, and they don’t knock you over anymore.
“Fail better” means you begin to have the ability to hold what I call “the rawness of vulnerability” in your heart.
So what I’m saying is: fail. Then fail again, and then maybe you start to work with some of the things I’m saying. And when it happens again, when things don’t work out, you fail better. In other words, you are able to work with the feeling of failure instead of shoving it under the rug, blaming it on somebody else, coming up with a negative self-image—all of those futile strategies.
“Fail better” means you begin to have the ability to hold what I call “the rawness of vulnerability” in your heart, and see it as your connection with other human beings and as a part of your humanness. Failing better means when these things happen in your life, they become a source of growth, a source of forward, a source of, “out of that place of rawness you can really communicate genuinely with other people.”
Your best qualities come out of that place because it’s unguarded and you’re not shielding yourself. Failing better means that failure becomes a rich and fertile ground instead of just another slap in the face. That’s why, in the Trungpa Rinpoche story that I shared, the waves that are knocking you down begin to appear smaller and have less and less of an ability to knock you over. And actually maybe it is the same wave, maybe it’s even a bigger wave than the one that hit last year, but it appears to you smaller because of your ability to swim with it or ride the wave.
And it isn’t that failure doesn’t still hurt. I mean, you lose people you love. All kinds of things happen that break your heart, but you can hold failure and loss as part of your human experience and that which connects you with other people.
Adapted from Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better: Wise Advice for Leaning into the Unknown by Pema Chodron. Copyright © 2015 by Pema Chodron. To be published by Sounds True in September 2015.
