Working With Anger

How lucky to find all my favourite books in 1 shot.

Let me start by introducing one of the books that help me greatly in coping with my emotions, my patience, a book (lower left in blue) that helps me greatly in everyday life that I would like to share with all.

Extracted from pg 28-30 of "Working With Anger":

Several techniques have been discussed to help dissolve our anger. To review them:

1) Remember the example of someone saying we have a nose or we have horns. We can acknowledge our faults and mistakes, just as we acknowledge having a nose on our face. There's no need to get angry. On the other hand, if someone blames us for something we didn't do, it's as if he said we have horns on our head. There's no reason to be angry at something untrue.
2) Ask ourselves, “Can I do something about it?” If we can, then anger is out of place because we can improve the situation. If we can't change the situation, anger is useless because nothing can be done.3) Examine how we got into the situation. This has two parts:
a) What actions did we do recently to prompt the disagreement? Examining this helps us to understand why the other person is upset.
b) Recognise that unpleasant situations are due to our having harmed others earlier this life or in previous lives. Seeing our own destructive actions as the principal cause, we can learn from our past mistakes and resolve to act better in the future.
4) Remember the kindness of the enemy. First, she points out our mistakes so we can correct them and improve our character. Second, she gives us the opportunity to practice patience, a necessary quality in our spiritual development. In these ways, the enemy is kinder to us than our friends or even the Buddha.
5) Give the pain to our selfish attitude by recognizing it as the source of all our problems.
6) Ask ourselves, “Is it the person's nature to act like this?” If it is, there's no reason to be angry, for it would be like being annoyed with fire for burning. If it isn't the person's nature, again anger is unrealistic, for it would be like getting angry at the sky for having clouds in it.
7) Examine the disadvantages of anger and grudge-holding. This gives us tremendous energy to let go of these destructive emotions.
8) Recognise that the other person's unhappiness and confusion are making him harm us. Since we know what it is like to be unhappy, we can empathise with him. Thus, he becomes the object of our compassion, not the object of our anger.
Whether or not these techniques work for us depends on us. We have to practice them repeatedly in order to build up new mental and emotional habits. Keeping medicine in a drawer without taking it doesn't cure the illness. Similarly, just listening to teachings without putting them into practice won't lessen our anger. Our peace of mind is our own responsibility.
The book is written by Ven. Thubten Chodron (http://www.thubtenchodron.org/Biography/index.html) printed by KMSPKSM (http://www.kmspks.org/kmspks/index.htm) for free distribution. The 1st part of book gave illustrations of above techniques to apply & end with Q&A. Is a simple to read yet meaningful book for all.

There are several free distribution of Dharma books' shelves available around the Bright Hill temple. Take a stroll there & feel free to take a copy of the books home for leisure reading:-)