Working With Anger

How lucky to find all my favourite books in 1 shot.

Let me start by introducing one of the books that help me greatly in coping with my emotions, my patience, a book (lower left in blue) that helps me greatly in everyday life that I would like to share with all.

Extracted from pg 28-30 of "Working With Anger":

Several techniques have been discussed to help dissolve our anger. To review them:

1) Remember the example of someone saying we have a nose or we have horns. We can acknowledge our faults and mistakes, just as we acknowledge having a nose on our face. There's no need to get angry. On the other hand, if someone blames us for something we didn't do, it's as if he said we have horns on our head. There's no reason to be angry at something untrue.
2) Ask ourselves, “Can I do something about it?” If we can, then anger is out of place because we can improve the situation. If we can't change the situation, anger is useless because nothing can be done.3) Examine how we got into the situation. This has two parts:
a) What actions did we do recently to prompt the disagreement? Examining this helps us to understand why the other person is upset.
b) Recognise that unpleasant situations are due to our having harmed others earlier this life or in previous lives. Seeing our own destructive actions as the principal cause, we can learn from our past mistakes and resolve to act better in the future.
4) Remember the kindness of the enemy. First, she points out our mistakes so we can correct them and improve our character. Second, she gives us the opportunity to practice patience, a necessary quality in our spiritual development. In these ways, the enemy is kinder to us than our friends or even the Buddha.
5) Give the pain to our selfish attitude by recognizing it as the source of all our problems.
6) Ask ourselves, “Is it the person's nature to act like this?” If it is, there's no reason to be angry, for it would be like being annoyed with fire for burning. If it isn't the person's nature, again anger is unrealistic, for it would be like getting angry at the sky for having clouds in it.
7) Examine the disadvantages of anger and grudge-holding. This gives us tremendous energy to let go of these destructive emotions.
8) Recognise that the other person's unhappiness and confusion are making him harm us. Since we know what it is like to be unhappy, we can empathise with him. Thus, he becomes the object of our compassion, not the object of our anger.
Whether or not these techniques work for us depends on us. We have to practice them repeatedly in order to build up new mental and emotional habits. Keeping medicine in a drawer without taking it doesn't cure the illness. Similarly, just listening to teachings without putting them into practice won't lessen our anger. Our peace of mind is our own responsibility.
The book is written by Ven. Thubten Chodron (http://www.thubtenchodron.org/Biography/index.html) printed by KMSPKSM (http://www.kmspks.org/kmspks/index.htm) for free distribution. The 1st part of book gave illustrations of above techniques to apply & end with Q&A. Is a simple to read yet meaningful book for all.

There are several free distribution of Dharma books' shelves available around the Bright Hill temple. Take a stroll there & feel free to take a copy of the books home for leisure reading:-)

Japanese Comics

I am a Japanese comics lover. Ever since reading my 1st Japanese comic: 小甜甜 while I was still a kid, I fell in love with them. Generally, Japanese comics especially those 少女漫画 have beautiful & handsome characters with strongwilledness & cheerful characters with very motivational stories.

I remember my sis & I used to have to go to book rental shops to rent comics or visit bookshops to buy or read comics (gone are the days when comics are still not as expensive as now & not wrapped up to allow some browsing:P).

I think during our student time, our library does not have much or any collection of comics. Wow, I am rather impressed with quite a good collection of Japanese comics at the National Library nowadays, & surprised that there is even English version.

This is what I found the other day: KODOCHA SANA'S STAGE by Miho Obana.

It tells about what happens when a child star Sana Kurata tries to fix problems around her & ....Some Comics can be funny that make you laugh & yet touching with morale of story for you to reflect. E.g. like book 6, even tell you one therapy mtd for working things out: Sana's mum: "when you are really upset abt sth, try writing it down on paper, in a "Worry book" , sit down & worry as much as you need to, someday, you'll look back & you won't believe this upset you so much"...writing & thinking ... Maybe it's not as bad as I thought...

Worth a try one of these days, a worth reading comics with fantasy characters, wonder if such good people exist in real life, sigh, good to indulge in fantasy sometimes. Comics can be very motivational too, just like watching drama serial 大长今.

ps. btw, some Jap comics can be PG, RA rated too so not too suitable for young kids :P

惜福, Always Be Grateful & Treasure What You Already Have

Saw this poster at the side of Great Compassion Hall of Bright Hill Temple, find it very meaningful ~ a rough translation: While one is crying just for having no new shoes to wear, there are actually others in this world with no feet to even try on, so count your blessings...be grateful & treasure for what you already have.

Whenever I feel down for not accomplishing something, I would comfort myself that I am actually fortunate enough in this life ... e.g. to be born/live in Spore where there are no natural disasters, have an education, have a job, know how to access Internet, already better than ...

It is not been passive, but an alternative way of not attaching or clinching to failure. It is no use clinching to past, we can learn from past experience but Life has to move on.

We should treasure our current human life form, and we can use our existing resources to prepare more resources for our future. (We are who we are now bec of what we did in past, we are who we are in future bec of what we are doing/to do now)

Another phrase I like that can be found on wall of stairway to Pagoda of 10,000 Buddhas: The only constant thing is change, Strive on with Diligence

(can't recall if exact wordings but meaning almost there) If I recall correctly, these are some of the last words said by the Buddha to his disciples before his Nirvana.

童心菩提心

I was there at Awareness Place (Bras Basah Complex) looking for Children Buddhist songs for my nephews and was recommended this CD. At 1st when I listen to it the first time, I find it too "Qing" for children. But as I listen more to it, I myself grew to love it. It consists of 16 songs. One of the songs, the music is somehow like "Ah Yo Yo Teacher"'s version & many other lively I would think is 童谣,民谣 (Folk or Country) style of music. Adults would certainly love it.

It was produced by JJ Music Production House in Malaysia & lyrics written by 2 Venerables. Strongly recommending adults to listen & sing with children:-)

Available at Awareness place (Bras Basah Complex) #01-63
I finally found this link that gives a demo of the CD songs.

Cheers :-)